We are egotistic and self-absorbed. What we think is more important than what others think. If others don’t agree with us, we need to let them know they are wrong, to which of course they similarly respond. (Some people are conditioned to think life is not sacred when they see others being treated badly. For those lucky enough to witness loving care, the supreme value of human life is validated. So, there are those who understand love and those who do not. Understand love.)
We assign identities to people and place them in categories. Thus, we make it more convenient to attack many people at once as members of a group. Divide and conquer. (Being kind, patient, and accepting of others takes work. Hating is lazy. It's much easier. Be kind, patient, and accepting.)
We habitually think of issues of having just two sides of an argument. This inevitably polarizes the issues and creates two camps of competing enemies. (Intelligent people search for every alternative before making a snap decision. Do your homework and think critically.)
To justify one’s position, it helps to magnify the flaws in the positions of others, and even to denigrate their character for holding such unacceptable positions. (Being a problem finder necessitates finding solutions, too. Otherwise, you're just a negative person. Search for root causes and solutions.)
We use threatening body language in advancing our arguments with others. These include scowled faces, loud voices, punching the hand toward others often with an object in hand), and pounding the arm up and down. We “get in their face.” (Threats lead to lying and posing, both undesirable traits. Don't make threats.)
Character assassination allows the accuser to assume a false mantle of virtue signaling, which in turn is not appreciated by those accused of being morally deficient. (False accusations lead to resentment and onset of hatred. No one is immune to feelings of resentment when there are false accusations. Don't make false accusations.)
Assuming victimhood from unfair treatment allows us to accuse others of oppression and thus assign to them guilt and shame. Name-calling is the linguistic first choice of weaponry. Another weapon is to recall past abuse, even when such abuse no longer occurs. Next, current examples of presumed abuse are magnified and harped upon. In that way, opponents become irredeemable. Those accused of creating victims, in turn, come to hate their attackers. (Revenge is a negative, harmful behavior. That's why forgiveness is so important. Consider forgiveness as a choice you can make.)
A basic reason for assuming victim status is that it provides excuses. We don’t have to take responsibility for any of our own missteps that contributed to our misfortune. We save face by blaming others and thereby create another reason to hate them. I explore all this in my book, Blame Game, How to Win It. (This is right. Victimhood masks irresponsibility. Take personal responsibility for your own lifestyle and don't play the victim.)
We expect equity, not just the equal opportunity of a level playing field. We assume everyone is equally entitled, irrespective of effort, education, or ability. Thus, when others deny us equity, we hate them for being unfair. (Equity is the opposite of personal responsibility, and it is destructive. Reject the foolishness of equity.)
Sometimes, we create enemies out of jealousy or desire for revenge over perceived imposed inequity.
We censor or otherwise “cancel” others, which of course generates reciprocal hate. (Creating false perceptions fuels hate. Don't create false perceptions. Don't brag or pose.)
(Dealings between honest hard working people in a moral society create an atmosphere that does not harbor hate. Be honest and hard working. Be moral.)
Text by William R. Klemm, Ph.d. and (E. Slater)
Also see “Intersection of Where to and Which Way” available from Lulu.com bookstore. E. Slater
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